I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
