Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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