Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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