Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
