His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
