I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Who wears a wallet chain?!
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
