i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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