theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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