I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
