She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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