he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
why do cheetos always look like penises
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
