she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
there is puke in my bra ... again
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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