another moral hangover. fuck.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize