It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
