you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
