Quick, to the slutcave!
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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