ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
