I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
