Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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