She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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