dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize