Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
