we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
