4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
