I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Everything about him screamed your future.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
