So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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