As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
