I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
