Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
