i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
The feeling are messing with the penis
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
