is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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