Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
