somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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