If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
