true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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