Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
