drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
