Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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