I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
