Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
