farters have to be the big spoon...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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