Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
