I'm drive I can fine osifer
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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