Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
