I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
how drunk are you?
Several
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
