I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
