I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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