Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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