Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
It's rum buckets o'clock
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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