remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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