No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
